Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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these are shit

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Nickelback.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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