Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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