Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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