Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops