You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops