My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops