Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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69.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops