What's brown and slimy? brown slime

Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...