Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Canadians

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops