What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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