How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops