- Anti Joke

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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