Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -23

friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

an emo girl walked into a white room

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops