What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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call me maybe.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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