Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Not home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

nickel back

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops