A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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cory

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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