whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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