why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops