Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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