How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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