A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

Fat? Jesse Z

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

say it ten times fast: oh

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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