"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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black people

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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