You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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