What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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Women's rights.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops