What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How old are you? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops