neil likes pube toast

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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