Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops