SUCK MY NUTS

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

did you know towels can cause dry skin?

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

hear hear

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Mogok Papiti.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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