Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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9/11 my birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops