Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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the WNBA.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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