Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops