If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

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smell the vitamin C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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