How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops