What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -17

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Tim and Eric

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops