What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops