if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My name is me I like fired chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops