Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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Women can vote? wtf

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Barbara Streisand

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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hello

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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