What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

Nick Cannon

I have cancer. And you're next.

Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

Anyone can post anything.

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...