An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Women's Rights

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Antijokes...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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