just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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How come grilled cheese?

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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