i committed murder

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

are u black unlucky

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

The Qur'an

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops