Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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Jack Stevens

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What's blue? The sky.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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my egg roll

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops