What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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human centipede

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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. . I am a whale

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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