What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops