Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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im not food

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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