Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

thumb_up thumb_down +27

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops