Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

Actually it was me Josh brown

If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

What is black and looks like a person A black person

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

KOOKABURRA

Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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