One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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Tim and Eric

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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