Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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Where's my tractor?

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops