What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops